..::On Kenosis::..

i feel tied down by my own aspirations. which seems contradictory, but it's true. there is this side of me that wants to throw caution to the wind, buy an old van, and spend a year travelling the country with my "to-be-purchased" dog. i want to take some time to figure myself out. to take sabbatical from reality as i know it and reaquaint myself with the real world. but i can't.

not that i can't physically, or that i don't have the gusto to make it happen. but that i can't turn my back on what i have already started with my life. i have to be true to what i want to do with my life, and no matter how romantic the notion is of being reckless, irresponsible, and taking a road trip may seem, i need to finish what i started.

it's still difficult though. i dont want to miss out. is it possible to be inspired without experiencing anything worthy of evoking inspiration. what if i never see a sunset that takes my breath away, light a cigar in celebration of some epic feat, or know what it feels like to be completely free of outside influence? will i be half the person i could be? will i be able to write things that pierce the soul or think thoughts that perplex? i don't think it's possible to ponder life if i never take the time to live.

i feel like im falling short.

Posted by jared slack on Thursday, September 15, 2005 at Thursday, September 15, 2005 | Permalink